As attorneys we do a lot of talking. It’s part of the job. But often, whether that’s in the courtroom or at the family dinner table, talking less can allow you to say more. And that’s why we wrote the following 5 Tips to improve your communication.
- Why? – All communication is done for a reason. Sometimes it is obvious, such as yelling “look out for that car!” In that instance, the why is clear, you want them to jump out of the way of a car. Even in mundane communication there should be a clear why. You ask for a large coffee at Starbucks because you want the biggest cup of coffee they make (yes, I know they do not use the term large, but I refuse to say Venti). Sometimes the why for the communication is more subtle. You may say “thank you” to an adversary in public after a dispute. Regardless of how sincere the “thank you” was, your main goal may have been to persuade onlookers that you were the more reasonable one in the dispute. Before you speak, text, type, write, or even send a meme, ask the why question. Asking why brings clarity and helps you tailor what you communicate towards your goal.
- Include a call to action. – This is tied in with the why. Is there something you want the other person to do with your communication? Do you want them to pick a date, choose one of three options, or approve a draft of a letter? If you want the person to do something, make that crystal clear from the outset. If you are writing an e-mail, put it in the subject line. If you are writing a letter, put it in the Re: section. Being clear that you want someone to act makes it more likely they will act. Putting the call to action at the beginning aids understanding and provides focus. In longer communications, repeat your call to action at the end. Make sure the ending call to action precisely mirrors the call to action at the beginning.
- Who else is this communication for? – In some instances, the message is a simple effort to convey information and request action from the recipient.However, in many instances, the communication is not just for the recipient, but for others who will hear, see, or read that message. Remember the example of publicly saying “thank you” to an adversary. The communication was intended to convey a message to the public that you are the more reasonable one. A common example of a message being written for others is when you write a confirming e-mail about a deal. In that instance, it is not written just for the recipient, it is written for someone to look at later if you must enforce the deal. Another common example is when a manager writes an e-mail to a troublesome employee outlining an area that needs improvement. The e-mail is meant for the employee and asks for change. However, the e-mail is also written for HR to explain why you fired the employee if the employee fails to improve. Make sure your message is tailored for everyone who will eventually receive it.
- Make the communication self-contained. – Easier to start with an example on this one. I’ll start with the wrong way and then we can see the right way. You e-mail your decorator and write, “I want the kitchen wall color to be the color in my e-mail below.” Below is an e-mail chain spanning weeks of discussions where five colors are discussed for six rooms. Buried in that exchange is the e-mail discussing kitchen color where you indicate the color you want. Now, let’s try that the right way. You e-mail your decorator and write, “I want the kitchen wall color to be the color named ‘Blue Sky’ on the Benjamin Moore color swatch.” This communication tip is especially true when you write a message that includes attachments, like photos, contracts, diagrams, charts, etc. Your goal is to avoid forcing the reader to stop reading your communication to find an attachment, just to get your point. Make your point, and then reference the attachment. Again, an example is helpful. Let’s start with the right first. “The agreement called for widgets with a rough finish, but over the course of several months, there were communications discussing the advantages of a smooth finish, and eventually it was agreed that we would produce only widgets with a smooth finish, despite the agreement saying they needed to have a rough finish. Below are the e-mails discussing the change in the widget finish.” Now, the wrong way. “The agreement says widgets must have a rough finish but see the e-mails below talking about changes to the widgets.” Exhibits, attachments, charts, and diagrams reinforce a story, they do not tell the story.
- Conclude with confirmation. – Did you ever watch a navy war movie where the captain of the ship says a command like “all ahead full!” What do you hear after that command? Someone then shouts “aye, aye captain, all ahead full.” Why repeat the command? Because making sure the command was “ahead full” versus “back full” makes a big difference when you’re trying to parallel park a 60,000-ton warship. In an exchange of communication, it is important to conclude with confirmation. Here is where most of us will see this come up. You have an e-mail exchange about a meeting for lunch that discusses various dates, times, and location. The times change, the location changes, and the day of the week changes. Your last e-mail or text is, “Great, can’t wait!” That last message satisfies the WHY because it confirms agreement and conveys excitement about the upcoming meeting. However, the communication fails the “make the communication self-contained” tip. Pretend you’re parking that 60,000-ton warship and repeat back the final arrangement. Let’s look at the revised clearer concluding message. “Great, we’re set for breakfast at Pancake House in Downtown Miami for Wednesday September 4th at 8:30 a.m., I can’t wait!”
